Hey look a Squirtle! Adulting with AuDHD

TL:DR (too long: didn’t read) I’m starting a Substack, you should join!

A child's drawing of a frog wearing a t shirt with the Anxiety cartoon character from Inside Out.
For copyright reasons – this is not a Squirtle.

First of all, thanks so much for on my ADHD at 43 blog. People reached out who I hadn’t heard from in years. People, or their kids, going through the same thing. People who recognised themselves.

Coming to this late, and being the giant nerd that I am, I am hoovering up all the info on neuro-spice I can – and I am learning so much. Too much to keep inside my head. When I share a new nugget with someone, more often than not the response is along the lines of “OMG, that’s me!” It feels like there are a lot of us finding out about ourselves together, and I think that’s pretty awesome.

Out of sight, out of mind

One of the things I learned that really rang true to me was about object impermanence. Basically if something really specific, or something I use all the time, if I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist.

So us neurodivergent folk put things where we can see them, to remind us to use them – which can lead to clutter, messy desks and frustration for the people who share our spaces.

Before I had even heard of this, inspired by a friend who has a business helping people declutter, I ended up solving the problem of my messy bathroom. I need to have all my cleaning and face stuff and meds where I can see them or I just won’t remember to use them – so I stuck an open shelving set on the wall. Everything I need is on it, instead of cluttering up the windowsill and the sink, but it’s still in view. The system works beautifully, and now I understand why.

Sorry newsletter!

I’m pretty sure my issues with object impermanence are behind the fate of my newsletter – you know, the thing I sent three issues of and then completely forgot?

It’s not in front of me. I have to open an app and often, once I have, I start wondering whether I have enough content, am I far enough along with my books? I decide I don’t, and I’m not, close the app and forget about it for six months.

Hello Substack

One thing I find in front of my every day however is Substack.

If you already use it you can skip this paragraph, but for folk new to the platform, it’s a website that hosts all sorts of writing, audio and video, with cool comment and chat functions. You can sign up to subs you like and have updates delivered directly to your inbox, or you can just pop in and read what takes your fancy. It also has an option for paid tiers if you want to support your writer. These can include member-only content, loot and first dibs on new stuff.

I’ve been a member for yonks. I lurk mostly and comment occasionally, but I’m in there most days. Because you can choose who you follow, the comments sections tend to be full of like-minded folk and, in the wasteland of nastiness you can find online, it has been an oasis of support and kindness, with genuinely interesting people and ideas.

I only subscribe to a few people directly because I’m a nightmare at pruning my inbox, but I read a lot on the app, and it’s often the first thing I open each day. There’s some top shelf content on there. At the moment my top three are:

There are loads more great ones and I which I will recommend as I go.

Hey look, a Squirtle!

So that’s pretty much a long-winded way of saying I’m starting a Substack. I’m hoping it will get around the object impermanence issue and it gives me the option to share thoughts on things that aren’t necessarily big enough for this blog or even writing-related at all. The plan is for it to be a place to talk about things I’m learning about myself and others, but I suspect all sorts of different things will sneak through. I steadfastly refuse to stay on topic or obey any rules I set for myself (like finishing books before starting new projects – soz! There are still two in progress though!)

It took me a while to come up with a name. At first I wanted a play on unmasking and initially thought of something along the lines of ‘If it weren’t for you meddling kids’

A still from Scooby Doo where the villain is unmasked. Text reads "and I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Then I thought that probably aged me and might potentially be mistaken for a Scooby Doo fan sub. I also don’t necessarily want to promote the idea that we are villains under the mask (at least not all the time…) The answer came to me when I was distracted by a Pokémon on the bus. It made me think of the old ‘hey look, a squirrel!’ quote about people being easily distracted. I know there are mixed feelings about this phrase in the ADHD community and have already drafted a piece on that and why I decided to stick with it.

Since we don’t have squirrels in New Zealand and Pokémon is something I am frequently distracted by – Hey look a Squirtle! Adulting with AuDHD was born. I’m hoping having the subject matter right in the title will make it clear it’s not a Poké sub – though I don’t promise I won’t talk about pocket monsters from time to time.

But what about the blog?

Squirtle will be a place to channel my current spicy hyperfocus and that might not be what people who signed up for an author blog are after. It also has a more interactive comments function than WordPress, so I’m seeing it as more of a conversation space. I have some awesome followers and I’m pretty certain you’d enjoy chatting with each other.

I’m sort of seeing it as an extension of my social media presence, which has sadly been tanking of late. Much fewer people are seeing my posts and that seems to be across all the platforms. It sounds a bit conspiracy theory, but I noticed things dropping off after I did some paid promotion for the Ghost Bus audio book. Ever since it was clear I was prepared to spend money sometimes I get a lot more ‘promote this post to reach more people’ and less organic reach. Sure I’ll advertise when I’ve got something to advertise, but I’m not paying to share a ghost meme.

Is it free?

Yes. There will always be a free version. If it goes well, and I feel brave, I might set up a paid tier as well with extra material, some giveaways and book samples – but that’s a way down the road yet.

How do I sign up?

If you’re a newsletter subscriber I will send one last post asking if you want to sign up. I completely understand inbox fatigue so I promise I won’t spam you. Mum and Dad, I’m automatically signing you up – you guys don’t get a choice. I don’t make the rules.

If you want to do it now you can find it right here: https://heylookasquirtle.substack.com and I will be sharing it via social media once it’s up and running.

Thanks to anyone who wants to come along with me on this ride. I’m pretty excited about it actually.

I’m still writing books – honest!

I promise this isn’t just a way of procrastinating over the books, in fact it’s doing the opposite – it’s making me write more. One of my ADHD traits I’m learning about is task swapping. It’s not multi-tasking, that really isn’t possible, it’s more moving between more than one task at a time. I find that much easier than doing one thing all at once – and if both those things give me sweet sweet dopamine, like writing does, it’s a win-win.

PS – yes I know the profile pic isn’t a Squirtle (copyright, duh). It is a drawing of a Build-a-bear frog wearing a t shirt with Anxiety from Inside Out on it that my niece drew. She is the most talented artist in the world and I will not hear otherwise.